The latest episode of Star Toilet Paper sees Jake Pickerd jumping to the planet of Napenthe to have a romp for a few hours with (Reserved) Captain Riker and Commander Troi at the Riker ranch while Pickerd and Ms. Clean figure out just who the they’re supposed to be and where they’re supposed to be going. The episode’s quality, in and of itself, was alright – as though Jonathan Frakes, Marina Sertis and Sir Pat, themselves, wrote their interactions. It was written well but of course, it’s not Kurtzman “Trek” without the obligatory dead white man.
First up we have a fan favorite, Hugh (formerly 3rd of 5), an XB who stayed behind on the “Artifact” Borg Cube to fend off the Tal Shiar/Jat Vash while Jake and Ms. Clean make their escape using the STAR TREK VOYAGER McGuffin known as the “spatial trajector.” While Elnor (Link) fights off Cersi Romulan (thanks to Gary at Nerdrotic for coming up with that fitting name), Cersi throws a dagger into Hugh’s neck, killing him slowly. Link is unable to save him.
Come to find out that the Riker line ends with Will. Their son, Thad (Thadeous, who was allegedly named for “Old Iron Boots,” Thadeous Riker from the American Civil War), had come down with a virus that could have only been cured if synths weren’t outlawed (another Orange Man Bad trope saying that immigrants may carry the cures to diseases?).
So therein lies the problem with Kurtzman “Trek” as it stands. It wasn’t to give the family internal strife and to see how well they can play the part.
This was a continual stab at men. Period-end.
Alex Kurtzman is the ultimate beta male. There cannot be any strong, white men in his “Trek” anymore. The assassination of white men, human or alien, continues to poison a series that was once about true diversity of race, strength, religion, everything! Kurtzman must’ve been seriously injured as a child by a powerful alpha male because his war against alpha men clearly shows his victimhood – not that of marginalized peoples. It’s a victim mentality that shows his incompetence and, quite frankly, I have no idea why Sheri Redstone allows it to continue.
Make no mistake, folks – she allows this and signed off on it! With Section 31 set to start filming this spring and STD 4 already in pre-production having been green lit, don’t fall for any illusions to the contrary – all of this has her blessing!
It will be her downfall.
So, let’s go over what we’ve seen in Kurtzman “Trek,” thus far. From the very first episode of season 1 of STD until this last episode of Star Toilet Paper, let’s go over the rules of what makes Kurtzman “Trek” tick.
- ANY man who stands up to the female lead must die! – The Admiral of the Europa in the very first episode of STD bites it a little while after he argues with Mikey Spock. The captain of the mirror Szenzhou dies, horribly, in a turbolift after challenging Mikey Spock. Gabriel Lorca takes a sword through the back after challenging Mirror Georgeou. The science officer from the Enterprise, Lt. Connelly, gets wiped out, “mid-mansplain” for challenging Mikey Spock.
- Under no circumstances are starring white males, playing humans or otherwise, are to take center stage! – Spock was turned into a prancing, singing punk after Michael Burnham basically said, “Nanny nanny boo boo” and made him cry like a baby. Captain Christopher Pike is constantly being talked down to by Michael Burnham. Picard is constantly ridiculed and punked by Rafi. Even Riker’s moment when Troi took her turn at shooting down Jake, basically when Troi told Riker to shut the hell up and let her continue to degrade Jake.
- Under no circumstances can any straight male exist in Trek and hold any significance – period! The Admiral in Una MacCormack’s new tie-in novel – a gay man of color. Hugh: Dead. Icheb: Dead. Riker’s son: Dead. See a pattern here?
My prediction for the future: We will see the death of Link, Rios (who is actually likable), and finally of Jake, himself. It will become the Soji (Ms Clean) Show aboard the Picard.
This war against men will be the final nail that seals the coffin in STAR TREK. By alienating not just those with differing political views, but an entire gender, is one serious mistake that Sherri Redstone is allowing to continue, with her blessing. A whole section of humanity who are the primary audience for STAR TREK and most things genre as a whole. It’s clear by now that with the doubling-down of this chaotic dumpster fire, STAR TREK never came back. It’s still dead.
I miss Rick Berman…