Kurtzman vs. Conflict – He Doesn’t Know How to Write

Anyone’s reaction to STD

For almost all of STD 2, we were hit over the head with this whole dysfunctional relationship between Michael Burnham and Spock. The entirety of the fandom, both drekkies and Fandom Menace alike, were talking about the reasons why there was such a rift. Furthermore, we have been told by Alex Kurtzman that the reason would be logical, it would fit, and would be so profound that it would affect Spock’s relationship with Captain Kirk in the future.

We went into high gear, thinking of all the possible reasons for this rift. What everyone kept falling back on, including yours truly, was asking ourselves this: what would be so traumatic that it would damage anyone’s fragile psyche?

The answer: sex!

We kept hearing, all season, Michael Burnham did something unspeakable to Spock. The speculation began that Mikey and Spock shared an episode that would border in the realm of incest; in order to break Spock, Mikey kissed him or possibly had full-blown intercourse with him, as young adults (not as children… or maybe…?). Yes, it was entertained.

The fans thought the idea would be disgusting, but given Kurtzman TREK’s current tone, it wouldn’t surprise anyone.

The Fandom Menace believed Kurtzman would use that since he is absolutely disgusting, abominable, and worse, uncreative. He would steal idea from others, like Game of Thrones, so why not?

Both fans and Fandom Menace, alike, gave this fool way too much credit…

What broke Spock?

“YOU HALF BREED!!”

“Stop following me! … You weird, little half-breed!”

The most damning thing that broke Spock? “Nanny nanny boo boo!”

Flash-forward to Picard’s era.

Kurtzman went on a marketing spree, promoting Star Toilet Paper all over the place. He would drop little nuggets for us and get discussions going about why Picard would break from Starfleet. Why would he start damning the Federation everywhere he went, like President Obama apologizing to all the nations we kicked the crap out of throughout history?

Once again, fans and Fandom Menace were united in speculation. What happened that made Picard run for the hills? Was it Spock? Of course, it had to be Spock. Picard worked with Spock so closely that they may have gotten as close as Spock did with Kirk. When Spock was “killed” saving the galaxy from the supernova, Picard broke and ran away.

Or, perhaps it was the destruction of Romulus? He had invested so much time and effort into the Romulans that when Romulus was destroyed, Picard felt shame and failure, and retreated into his grapes.

Perhaps Picard always felt that way since the death of Data (this was the closest theory). Over the years, Picard retreated more and more into himself and became a hermit when he just couldn’t take it anymore.

So, what actually happened to make Picard leave Starfleet?

He was told, “no.”

…of thinking Kurtzman would actually be creative here, too!”

Picard walks into Admiral Clayton’s office after the Synth attack on Mars and says, “In spite of the destruction of the fleet, I’d like to continue the efforts to save the Romulans.”

Admiral Clayton said, “No.”

Picard responded with, “I quit.”

Are we seeing the pattern of stupidity yet?

Commander Rafi, Picard’s former XO on the Verity, according to the comics, is presented to us as someone who hates Picard with such ire that she would pull a weapon on Picard when he comes to her camper at the Vasquez Rocks. She is someone who would rather have Picard dead than to see him again! He says something about the Tal’Shiar, and suddenly she’s interested in what he has to say, why?

Before the airing of the third episode, the speculation began. Since we don’t have the last issue of the comic yet, we are left to speculate. Why would she be so upset at Picard?

Once again, the wheels began to turn.

Again, we gave Kurtzman way too much credit.

The reason why she hates Picard?

She was fired from Starfleet!

Fired… from a military… without a court martial or even a non-judiciary hearing (which never results in dishonorable discharge).

Fired.

Let that sink in. Not dishonorably discharged after a court marital. No sexual relationship. Nothing that caused death and/or actions that went contrary to her beliefs.

Fired.

“I lost my security clearance,” she cries as she gets high on 24th century reefer.

It’s sad that the fans can create far better conflict between characters than Alex Kurtzman. We get “nanny nanny boo boo” and “you’re fired” as the ultimate insults that break people. This is supposed to be STAR TREK?! Forget STAR TREK, this isn’t even worthy of SESAME STREET! It’s insulting to anyone who watches it.

Alex Kurtzman doing his Osama Bin Laden cosplay. Fitting, given the terrorist attack he conducted on STAR TREK!
(Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images) Used without permission!

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