Life in Japan, Part 2: “The Unlucky Fool”

If you’re hideously ugly like me, there’s hope for you in Japan!

This one’s aimed at the men, though I do not discriminate between the genders. Ladies, of course, are more than welcome to read this as well, but be warned: if you’re easily triggered by language geared towards men, this may not be for you. I make no suggestion that my blog will be a safe space.

Now, I’m not the most attractive dude in the world. By western standards, I’m downright disgusting to women. Being ugly seems to go hand-in-hand with personality types. You don’t typically see a freak as ugly as me being an alpha male. Rather, we are the creepers – always looking at the hot chick but facing a stone wall of our own making. It’s not a fear of rejection but rather a resignation to its inevitability. Now, in the age of #TimesUp and #MeToo, the fear of not only being humiliated in rejection but possible arrest with a sex offence conviction just by making eye contact with a western woman, is a very real reality.

It’s no wonder “rat boys” such as myself go to other countries to find a mate.

For men seeking a companion, Japan is a very rich and plentiful country. Most men offer very little in the way of competition, most being outright prude or what I call “Charlie males,” and “herbivore boys,” whose only source of companionship is their cartoon app girlfriend and a box of tissues. This leaves many women in the dating pool, ripe for the picking.

Single ladies cover this mysterious nation, almost front to back. Whatever your age range is, there will be someone available. On the flip-side, this kind of situation has led to the country’s current stagnation of its population. Too many available women because of a lack of men interested in human companionship.

Another thing you’ve got going for you is the insatiable curiosity of young to middle-age Japanese women. If you’re into exploring all kinds of women, Japan has exactly the woman for you.

Unless you’re living in Tokyo.

This is a city where casual hookups often occur between foreigners. Ladies here go through the rituals of “speed dating” and “o-miai” dating parties that usually end up nowhere. If you are lucky enough to bed a Tokyo girl, chances are more than certain you’re paying her an hourly rate.

Tokyo’s got nothing on New York when it comes to business. It’s one of the most overcrowded cities in the world where personal space is non existent. Groping, though illegal, is unavoidable (even accidental) on rush-hour trains, as they’re packed as tight as a 300kg man squeezing into size 27 jeans. Because of it, Japanese of both sexes enjoy personal time – that is, versus an exciting drinking date that could lead to quite possibly the hottest sex ever. Solitary alone time is at a premium in Tokyo, so scoring a genuine date is very tough, though not impossible, and certainly with better odds than New York. However, Tokyo, unless you’ve got money to burn, is a very, very cold city.

If you leave Tokyo, ladies, lock your men up! Japanese women will waste no time taking him from you, right before your very eyes. Literally. Same goes for women not from Tokyo who aren’t used to the solitude and are hungry for the companionship they enjoyed in their home prefectures.

Japanese women are typically alpha like men. Strong willed, open, adventurous and daring. A stray smile at a woman in Nagoya will almost certainly lead to “evening relations” if you show one iota of interest in pursuing something.

My wife is from Yamanashi Prefecture, grew up in Kagoshima, educated in Okayama, and built her life in Tokyo, where she found solitude a bit too much for her to deal with. After failing with a Japanese “soy boy,” we met and have been married for almost ten years with two awesome boys. Had she been from Tokyo, she’d be a voluntary loner, rolling in cash but extremely cold as she would be seeking solitary confinement just to get away from people!

If you’re coming to Japan to meet your future wife, the best places to meet your candidate life partner is anywhere but Tokyo. Tokyo, like the rest of Japan, has many beautiful women to choose from. However, where a kind smile will take you far in Sapporo or Osaka, if she doesn’t roll her eyes at you and move away, she’s not from Tokyo.

Next: How to Survive Tokyo Rush Hour

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