Before I finished off my Facebook account of my own volition, I was part of two groups on opposite sides of the Star Trek Discovery spectrum. One of which, (I’ll shamelessly plug) was the Nerdrotic Podcast Group. The other (and the reason for this story) was a group called CBS: Give Us a Captain Pike Show. That is not to say that anyone in the Nerdrotic group would be against such an idea, but as far as the latter group goes, they have been pushing a petition to get CBS and Secret Hideout to rehire Anson Mount (who walked/was fired due to an HR incident that TPTB swear have nothing to do with Mount leaving), Ethan Peck, and Rebecca Romijn to come back and do a full series set aboard the (beautifully reimagined) USS Enterprise under Captain Pike.
This is something that I would be all for, in actuality. However, even as part of the FB group pushing for this show, there would have to be some very strict conditions that, quite frankly, would make it impossible for me to champion otherwise (I did NOT sign the petition because of these conditions I set for championing this project to begin with).
CONDITION 1: FIRE ALEX KURTZMAN!
Under the reign of Alex Kurtzman, we have seen the all-out assassination of Star Trek. Back in its day, Star Trek was the trend-setting science fiction genre to beat. Everyone copied their formula. Granted, Trek took cues from other science fiction franchises, but did so in the most epic fashion (DS9, anyone?). Kurtzman is the villain responsible for puking out two of the worst seasons of Star Trek in existence! I’ll write a hit piece against Star Trek Discovery in due time, but for now, just know that Kurtzman is poison and needs to vamoose.
CONDITION 2: FIRE ALL OF THE WRITERS!
Everything from plot stealing to plagiarism, Star Trek Discovery’s writing team is devoid of creativity and soul. They diminished the very foundation of Star Trek and turned it into a hate group. Fans and white knights of the series always fall back on, “Star Trek has always been progressive. Get with it or you’re not a fan!” This very line is an all-out lie and everyone who speaks it knows it. Star Trek has always been political, expressing points of view both left and right. Never in its 50-plus years of history has Star Trek been used as an instrument of hate, until Star Trek Discovery came about. It’s one thing to have a political point of view. It’s another to promote hate against a whole group of people, and right from the start, STD has done that. Thus, I wouldn’t want a single writer coming over from Secret Hideout to do Pike.
CONDITION 3: GIVE ROD RODDENBERRY FULL CREATIVE CONTROL!
He is currently one of about 200 executive producers (I WISH I was exaggerating) working with Kurtzman on the current incarnations of Hate Trek. It’s time he gets to sit in the seat his legendary father sat in, having full creative control over Star Trek Pike (or whatever it’d be called). His love for Star Trek, the integrity of the franchise, and the fans, is second-to-none. I feel he would respect Star Trek and write a sincere love letter with a Pike show.
CONDITION 4: BRING IN PEOPLE WHO KNOW/LOVE TREK!
The replacement of Kurtzman and the “writers” (read: “hacks”) means that you need to fill a critical void to create a solid Star Trek show that can, once again, take the lead as THE science fiction franchise to beat. What is required, aside from hiring me, Nerdrotic, Overlord Doomcock and Lore Reloaded, (all joking aside… half-joking, anyway) is to hire back the legacy writers that made Trek great in the first place. Even at its worse (Voyager/Enterprise), Trek shined among the ashes. Bringing back Manny Coto (Enterprise) and Brannon Braga (TNG, DS9, VOY, ENT, The Orville) as lead writers would be a huge step to make this show great. They know what Star Trek is all about because these gentlemen ARE Star Trek. Teaming up with Rod Roddenberry would become a force to be reckoned with. Also, bringing back Mike Okuda as your science advisor (TNG, DS9, VOY, ENT) and even having DC Fontana (TOS, TNG) write some stories would be a wonderful olive branch to fans who abandoned Star Trek because of STD.
PENULTIMATE CONDITION: GIVE CREATIVE SAY TO ANSON MOUNT!
This is the man who is responsible for bringing all of this to the forefront in the first place. No, he’s not associated with the Facebook group, but his performance as Captain Pike on Star Trek Discovery is the only reason why I tuned in, in the first place. Mount brought a full color filling to an outline. The character of Pike was only black-and-white because he wasn’t fully fleshed out. Gene Roddenberry had a purpose for Chris Pike but we didn’t get to see much in “The Cage / The Menagerie.” Instead, until STD, the most we got was Chris Pike in two of the three JJ Abrams Star Trek films (Bruce Greenwood). When Mount stepped in, he filled in so much of Chris Pike that he became Pike. HE was a Star Trek character, even if he was given crap to act with. Mount did a phenomenal job, and only made me want more of Pike and the crew of that incredible starship.
FINAL CONDITION: RETCON SPOCK!
The whole Michael Burnham arch needs to be eliminated from Star Trek altogether! It was executed horribly and is a genital wart on the entire franchise (probably why it’s called STD, eh?
It was an element that didn’t belong anywhere in the story. The very existence of Michael Burnham diminished the character of Spock in every way. While Ethan Peck gave a wonderful performance, the material he was given suggests that Spock’s entire back story was given to Mikey Spock (Sonequa Martin-Green, who I don’t have any ill feelings against; good actress, bad character), and thus the icon we have come to know and love for the last half-century had been completely assassinated because of the SJW agenda. What happened to Spock was disgusting and cruel, beyond words, perpetrated by people who have only watched about 5 minutes of Star Trek before actually writing for it. Spock’s entire backstory needs to be retconned with Mikey Spock erased from history. Setting Trek Pike in an alternate timeline (preferably the REAL one) could go a long way.
Well, there you have it. My conditions for a Chris Pike Star Trek series. Will CBS listen? Nope. Will I still watch a show under the current Trek license with Secret Hideout? I’ll just say this: if Netflix Japan doesn’t carry it, my ship is still docked in the harbor, ready to set sail on the high seas.
Beyond that, I don’t think I’d mind if this doesn’t get made.